I would appreciate any comments, helpful hints and critiques. I had fun writing this, I hope you enjoyed the story. Thank you!
“Last warning, Earthling!”
The dragonfly fluttered around a sun-baked rock before settling
upon it. It had but a few seconds to flash its gossamer wings before the ray-gun
blasted it into a smoldering ash.
Two tiny gray beings glide out from behind a rock, their luminous
almond-shaped eyes taking in their destruction. One of the beings held up his
gun, his wide lipless mouth curled in mirth.
“I gave the Earthling a chance to surrender.” It said in a
high squeaky voice, “If they don’t heed us, we’ll have this planet under our
command in no time!”
Hahahahahaha! Cute. A good story to end my night with. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteHere's mine: www.rochelle-wisoff.blogspot.com/2012/06/homework.html
Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts! :)
DeleteWishful thinking. I wonder what they'll say to humans.
ReplyDeleteVery imaginative story.
Mine's here: http://logo-ligi.com/2012/06/21/a-silent-moment/
My guess is they wouldn't live long enough if they ran into humans. :P
DeleteThank you for reading it!
Ha ha very well done :). Mine is here http://boomiebol.wordpress.com/2012/06/21/damsel-fly-friday-fictioneers-622/
ReplyDeleteThank you! :)
DeleteDestructive little aliens...or whatever they are. Won't they be surprised if we locate their planet and destroy them first. lol. I'm on the list...if not... www.triplemoonstar.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteI am curious as to where their planet is...maybe it's already destroyed and they're wanting to take over ours? Thank you for reading. :)
DeleteVery well written. I love short stories such as yours, as they give the full effect of reading the whole book in less than 30 seconds. Keep penning. Here is mine.
ReplyDeletehttp://reeflections.wordpress.com/2012/06/22/friday-fiction-life-you-and-me/
Why thank you! I love the challenge of writing a 'whole' story in 100 words or less. Thank you for reading!
DeleteThat really made me laugh ... we usually associate 'earthlings' with us humans and it was great to see an alternative to that 'reality'. Thanks
ReplyDeleteJust as a point of personal preference I'd probably take out either high or squeaky as I don't think you need both to determine their type of voice.
Here's mine: http://womanontheedgeofreality.com/2012/06/22/friday-fictioneers-gramps-and-me/
I actually had thought about taking out 'high' but at the last minute, left it. But you are right, it really isn't needed. :) Thank you so much for reading and your critique. Very much appreciated! :)
DeleteThis is brilliant! Love your imagination! Mine's on the list - the story, not... oh, you know!
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading it! Yes, my imagination tends to run away from me at times. ;)
DeleteHaha, I got such a kick out of this! It was a nicely done little twist. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteHere's mine:
http://sarahthestoryteller.wordpress.com
Thank you for reading and replying! I enjoyed your story very much, btw. ;)
DeleteImaginative take on the prompt and well written. Mine is here and linked as well: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/06/21/fridayfictioneers-the-omen/
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading and comments. :)
Deletehaha this is so cute :) nicely done Mahjira!
ReplyDeletehttp://writersclubkl.wordpress.com/2012/06/22/friday-fictioneers-human/
Thank you! Thank you for stopping by and reading it. I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)
DeleteThis is great, I thought of children actually playing they were aliens. Wonderful and sweet even though sci-fi which is a great combination. thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeletehttp://vsichalwe.wordpress.com/2012/06/22/friday-fictioneers-3/
Wonderful! This story has some very fun episodes coming in the future! Great job!
ReplyDeletehttp://kbnelson.wordpress.com
Dear Mahjira,
ReplyDeleteIt's going to be a long campaign to get us under control. Great story. Loved the feisty nature of the aliens. Might be a story in seeing them confront a human with that ray gun.
Aloha,
Doug
Aliens with a Napoleon complex. Will that gun work on earthlings with a little more, um, size?
ReplyDeletehttp://thebradleychronicles.wordpress.com/2012/06/21/flash-fiction-friday-shearing-placid/
LOL, what misguided aliens. If that's what they're like, we might stand a chance. I didn't notice anything to critique. Loved your description of the way the aliens looked.
ReplyDelete