Thursday, November 14, 2013

Alley

It's Friday Fictioneer time! I always look forward to this day, to exercise my brain and create a story with only 100 words or less. This time I made it to 97 words. (Horray!) I want to thank Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for hosting the Friday Fictioneers. Thank you! I would love any comments and helpful critiques are welcomed!



The cart connected hard against the stone ramp, jarring the bolts of fabrics and potteries that filled it. My mule tossed his head and stood stubbornly, refusing to move.

“I can’t be late” I muttered, grasping the lead from my mule, urging to hurry so I wouldn’t lose my preferred spot in the market square…

“Matt, are you alright?”

I looked up into Angie’s concerned face, then back to the empty alleyway. I clutched the camera strap tightly in my hand.

“Yeah,” I said, looking down at the ancient grey stone, “I just had a déjà vu.”



(Word count: 97)



This story actually came from personal experiences. I had a few dreams of places I have never been, doing things that I have never done - yet it felt so familiar to me - then I would wake up in the middle of a deja vu. When I saw the stone floor in the picture, it reminded me of the stones in one of my deja vu dreams. Hence, my story. :)


12 comments:

  1. Interesting story, and the background note you attached. Nice work.

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  2. When I read this the first time and came across the name Matt right in the middle it brought me up with a jolt - not the right name for the period of the lines that had gone before - but then as I read on I realised how clever that was - to take us out of the original story just as it happens to Matt.

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  3. Dear Mahijira,

    You had me there...in both places. Well done.

    shalom,

    Rochelle

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  4. Deja vu of another life...awesome!

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  5. Such a wonderful, if sometimes unsettling, feeling, isn't it? Well done.

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  6. Timelines crossing or past lives? I've also had moments like this. A bit freaky... Great stuff.

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  7. i like this a lot. can definitely relate. a very interesting piece :-)

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  8. Ahh, found the right story now. Glad I didnt miss it. Your profile is still liked to the old blog. Clever transition from past to present in this one. Karen

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  9. I've had things like this happen, too, usually in dreams.

    janet

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  10. I'm glad to hear that I am not the only one who has experienced deja vu in dreams. Could it be a past life showing through from our dreams? I like to think so. Thank you all for your kind comments and for reading my story.

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