Thursday, November 7, 2013

Stone

All I can say is wow! I am surprised that I was able to come up with something for this very interesting photo prompt. I had the story up to 121 words, but could only get it down to 101 without changing the flow of the story itself. Here is my offering for this week's Friday Fictioneer. I would love constructive criticism and comments. Thank you!



The stoic stone face stared out over city hall, leaving Georgie gawking slack-jawed at it as if in a staring contest.

“What are you doing?” his older sister, Amanda, demanded.  She was perturbed that her mother forced her to fetch her wayward sibling.

“He blinked!” he exclaimed, his eyes wide with surprise.

“What?” Amanda looked up and saw the stone head staring blankly ahead. “It’s a statue, dumb-dumb! Don’t you know what statues are?!”

She grabbed her little brother’s hand, dragging him inside as he continued to howl, “He did blink, Amanda, he did!!”

The statue continued to stare – and smiled.
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14 comments:

  1. AnonymousNovember 7, 2013 at 3:47 AM

    Dear Mahjira,

    A beautiful, well told little tale. I know a woman who used to do that to little children. She was a mime and is a friend of mime.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    ReplyDelete
  2. Rochelle Wisoff-FieldsNovember 7, 2013 at 3:47 AM

    Dear Mahjira,

    Cute story. Pity Amanda didn't see the head smile.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    ReplyDelete
  3. AtreyeeNovember 7, 2013 at 6:24 AM

    How creepy!Blinking and then smiling-secretly-am not sure that is a good sign!Good job:-)

    ReplyDelete
  4. UnknownNovember 7, 2013 at 10:47 AM

    Kids are so full of imagination, aren't they? Perfectly playful end line.

    ReplyDelete
  5. RussellNovember 7, 2013 at 1:28 PM

    You should read Perry's story, if you haven't already. That would explain the winking. Nice story, Mahijira.

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousNovember 7, 2013 at 4:51 PM

    I believed him even before your last line.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Perry BlockNovember 7, 2013 at 8:15 PM

    I like it! But nobody believes the little child, and they know best. (It can't be me smiling though, because I've been standing here for 45 years now and I only smile at bathroom break. Must be one of the newbies.)

    ReplyDelete
  8. AnonymousNovember 7, 2013 at 8:28 PM

    great story.i have a feeling that it’s not gonna be the last time that the statue would communicate with the kid :-) kz

    ReplyDelete
  9. AnonymousNovember 7, 2013 at 10:07 PM

    Spoooooky! And nicely written :-)

    ReplyDelete
  10. AnonymousNovember 9, 2013 at 6:27 AM

    Expertly constructed little tale.
    Love it.

    ReplyDelete
  11. AnonymousNovember 9, 2013 at 6:28 AM

    And AnElephant is bored typing in the squiggly letters.
    Are they really necessary?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. MahjiraNovember 9, 2013 at 3:43 PM

      Squiggly letters? I'm not sure what you mean.

      Delete
    2. AnonymousNovember 25, 2013 at 2:54 PM

      I think it was the captcha, although you've removed that now I guess as I haven't had to enter them with any of the comments I have made

      Delete
  12. AnonymousNovember 25, 2013 at 2:53 PM

    I shall have to stand and watch that the next time I pass it :-) I love this story

    ReplyDelete

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